Warning. This post in no way will add to any meaningful level of discourse. Anywhere. I spent the day frantically trying to print and frame wedding photos for a last-minute trip out of town (pictures are for my mom! and others. And BTW… I felt like a huge dork getting a 8×10 photo of my face printed…) Anyhoo – since I was haunting my local, not-to-be named shopping giant, and not getting anything actually accomplished, I am forced to make my daily post about nothing more than me complaining. About RTW. RTW made-by-someone-else. That disintegrated within hours of first wearing.

Here’s the offensive garment. I bought it yesterday at the not-named chain store. I don’t like buying clothes. Not things I can make myself, at least. But I’ve had a hankering for a nice, long sweater-coat type object, and even though I like to knit, the idea of knitting something like this makes me want to stab myself. In my eyeballs. With my bamboo #2’s. Plus, I really liked the color**

**Also! I’m experimenting with a new color lipstick. Likely not discernable to anyone but me. I’ve worn the same color for 18 years. No lie. Revlon Earth (changed to fabulous fig, changed to wine not. When they change formulas, you can call the company and they will tell you the closest shade to your discontinued color. I’ve moved on to really red. The blue-toned red was starting to make me look old.)

sweater

Lovely, no? Especially the sweater and flip-flop look I’m rocking – is the weather everywhere all crazytown? It looked awesome with my black and white polka dot Bo Ho shirt. And jeans tucked into nice, tall black boots. And it was the perfect amount of cozy to wear to the baseball game (ahem. Damn Yankees.) And it looks fine in the photo, right? Let’s look closer…holes

I’ve circled the problem areas in yellow. First, I had the sweater on for less than two hours. I stopped by the little girl’s room (I claimed I needed to use it, really I just wanted to check out my new lipstick…) and the button just fell off. It wasn’t buttoned. It wasn’t tugged. I was just standing there, looking in the mirror, and it dropped and went bouncing across the floor (um, eww.) I chased it down, picked it up and stuck it in my pocket. Annoying, but not really a problem.

Then, about an hour after that, I wrapped my arms around myself (our brand-new outdoor stadium was surprisingly mild for an October game, but still…) and realized there was also a gaping HOLE! See it? Circled? The huge hole? It wasn’t there when I put it on! And can I just say once more that there was no buttoning, no stretching, no anything. Just me, surreptitiously reading blogs on my ipod (thank god for free wi-fi!) and sporadically cheering for the Twins.

I was saddened. I like the sweater. Long, cozy, nice color. Mind-numbingly boring knitting completed by someone else. Sleeves long enough to cover up my hands. What a bummer. I considered exchanging for a new one, but honestly. It disintegrated within the first few hours of wear. I don’t think this one’s going to be a winner, although, if they still have my size when it goes to 75% off, I’ll revisit the subject.

So there you have it. Lesson (re)learned regarding what you get when you buy cheap ready to wear. And by you, I mean me. With that, I’ll sign off. I’ll be over at Ravelry if anyone needs me. I have to find a pattern for a nice, long sweater coat…

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