Greetings gators! Today I’m just bringing you a little snippet regarding the sacrifice I recently made to the denim gods. My favorite jeans recently bit the dust. The the dust biting was a long time comin’ – they were a pair of artfully distressed Calvin Kleins that sprung a leak the first time I wore them and pretty much had to get the zig zag treatment after every wash and wear. Eventually the tear wrapped all the way around my leg and when I needed a pair of cut offs last week to go under my babydoll dress, I figured I may as well just make my favorite jeans my favorite cut offs. Very, very short cutoffs…

You will see as the season progresses that when the temps go up, my clothes come off. My favorite summer outfit is a super short pair of shorts, a stringy-sleeved tank and bare feet. Also, I like it super hot and sticky. Also, I have no shame and in the dead of winter could never conceive of going out into public in such a state of undress. But as soon as the thermometer hits 90, something switches in my brain…Anyway, every other time I’ve cut off a pair of jeans, I’ve been very unhappy with the results. Weirdly binding in the front and too short in the back, the results have been unwearable. This time, I put the jeans on, then used chalk to ‘draw’ my shorts on. I slid ‘em off and cut away. Just. Look. At. What. The. Result. Is.

Crocillgators, the back and front waistband are even in the photo above. I know I’ve mentioned before that my crotch depth is super short in the front and my booty is super projectile. Here is some crazy proof of what I’m talking about. You’d think, looking at the cutoffs on their own, that there’d be denim going halfway down to my knees in the back, right? Wrong.

You can see they dip down a bit  in the back – I wanted them short, but still wearable, after all. Even so, I didn’t expect the ‘empty’ shorts to look so very kitty wompus! Crazy, right? Or does everyone’s cutoffs look like this and I’ve just had my head stuck in daisy duke sand??

A little more perspective into the mysteries of the crotch curve!

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